Friday, May 12, 2017
In honor of my mom on Mother's Day, I decided to list all that is her in me (no, I am not talking about her genes).
1. Hands. This year I noticed that my hands look just like my mom's. It's hard to explain how I make this connection....a hand looks like a hand. It is not like the color of your eyes or the shape of your face...it is just your hands. But when I look at mine, I can see mom's hands.
2. Voice. This was brought to my attention by my sons. They tell me that many times I sound like my mother. In fact, some people who knew my mother have told me that it is very surprising to hear my voice and think it's my mom speaking. Of course, I know that sometimes the things I say are my mother. When those times happen, I always say that I am "channeling" mom.
3. Faith. My mom was not an active member of the Church in her later years but she had a great faith in God. She always felt that God had a purpose for each of us and until that purpose was fulfilled, we would continue upon this earth. As she got older and her body was slowly breaking down, she wondered what God had left for her to do before she could go to be with my dad. This was something we talked about alot. Her rosary gave her great comfort. In those times when pain filled her body and fear filled her mind, she drew solace from just holding it. I have also found that my rosary is a way that I connect with my mom in times of need.
4. Family. Family was very important to mom. This is something she definitely instilled in me. There is nothing more important than family. We take care of each other and there is nothing we would not do for each other. She loved her children, their spouses and her grandsons especially her grandsons. She was so proud of all 3 of them and was very supportive of them in everything they did. I try very hard to be like my mom that way. My family is everything to me and even though I may not always agree with their choices, I make sure that they know I am in their corner no matter what.
5. Sense of Humor. My mom had a great sense of humor. She could make anyone laugh. Sometimes I was not even sure she knew she was funny. All my friends would say, "your mom is a stitch!" When I would tell her this, she would look surprised and say it wasn't true. But she could make you laugh over the most simple things. I have a sense of humor although my husband and sons say that usually I am the only one who finds something funny. Most of the time, they laugh just watching me laugh at something I find amusing. That's me...the entertainment.
6. People Watching. Mom loved to people watch. She would always find a seat in the back of the theatre, middle of the mall, etc. She always wanted to sit where she could watch people. Of course with people watching comes commenting...another thing she loved. I find myself doing it as well much to the amusement of my family.
7. Football. Mom loved football especially Notre Dame football. The standing rule was...don't call her on Saturdays because she was watching Notre Dame football. Mom would yell at the tv and sometimes stomp out of the room after a very bad play. I love football but I love Detroit Lions football (yes, I am one of those fans). It is hard being a Lions fan where I live. I am surrounded by Packer backers but I am still loyal to them. Thank goodness my sons are too. I tend to yell at the tv and stomp out after a particularly stupid play but usually my youngest son is right behind me.
8. Coloring. For as long as I can remember, my mom loved to color. She would always sit and color with me in my coloring books. After awhile, she would get her own and spend an hour a day just coloring as sort of a get away from the daily grind. Buying mom coloring books and sets of colorful markers became one of the annual Christmas presents I got her. Mom looked forward to that small amount of time she spent coloring each day. She said it was like meditating. I am a colorer too. I usually color before bed. It rests my mind so that I can sleep peacefully.
9. Animals. Mom was a dog person. I am a cat person. But to mom and me, our dogs and cats are not just pets, they are members of the family. They are spoiled and treasured and grieved over when they pass.
My mom grew up in an era when women got married and made their families their careers. She was a stay at home mom. She left all of the family decisions and finances to my dad as he was the head of the household. She did everything around the house and wouldn't even consider asking dad to vacuum, cook or do laundry. Those were women's chores. Yet, she always taught my sister and I to grow as strong, independent women who did not need to have a man take care of us but could be equal to him. Because of this, I have taught my sons to cook, do laundry, etc. I have always told them that women were not put on this earth to wait on them. That they should be equal partners in their relationships. The most important thing my mom taught me was to be sure and let my children know how proud I am of them, how I support them always and love them no matter what. Her last words to me were, "I am so proud of the woman you have become. I love you".
My hope is that when my time comes to leave this earthly life, I will leave a legacy where my sons will be as proud to have me as a mom as I am to have had you as my mom.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, MOM! I LOVE YOU AND I MISS YOU!
Posted by Ellen Fassbender