Friday, August 25, 2017
I Don't Understand You But I Love You Anyway
My oldest is a musician. Since the age of 12, he has always loved music. He began playing a clarinet in middle school then changed to the bassoon. He has played the saxophone, oboe and accordion. He has composed music. He has played in a jazz band and a polka band. He plays in the Reno Philharmonic and teaches music at the University of Nevada Reno. I did say he loves music and he does to the max. I have sat in audiences and watched him play, watching that moment on his face when the music completely takes him over and he is in his happy place. I have listened to him talk about composers and their music, the different gestures that a conductor uses during a performance and how he composed a piece of music he had been working on for a long time. Do I understand what he is telling me? 9 times out of 10, no, I do not. Does he believe I understand what he is telling me? No, he does not. How do I know this? He has told me. But he has also said that he appreciates that I listen and try to understand.
My youngest is into cars. He loves cars especially jeeps. He loves to take an old broken down jeep, take it apart and put it back together into something spectacular. He has had a torn apart jeep in my garage for years and an old car in the side yard. He has a jeep and a truck on the property where he lives. He talks to me about what he is doing and planning to do with them. He discusses car parts, engines, roll bars, tires, modifications and colors. He shows me pictures of cars as examples of what he wants to do. I smile as his face gets that excited look when he has gotten a part of one of his jeeps done or when he has seen another vehicle he wants to work on. Do I understand what he is telling me? 9 times out of 10, no, I do not. Does he believe I understand what he is telling me? No, he does not. How do I know this? He has told me. But he has also said that he appreciates that I listen and try to understand.
No, I don't understand my sons. One likes classical and polka music...the other likes rap and new age. One likes fishing while the other thinks its boring. One is a reader of books while the other prefers car magazines. One is content to be a homebody, the other never seems to stand still. One loves football while the other can take it or leave it.
Now don't get me wrong, there are things they do agree on. They both love dogs (not cats like their mom). Their politics are more liberal and both do not like the current administration ( I am with them on that). They don't believe in organized religion but will go to church with mom if I ask them to. They both know the importance of family and demonstrate that in many ways every day.
Yes, my sons are very different from one another but I also know that these 2 brothers are there for each other, no matter what. I may not understand alot of what they tell me but I do know that for sure and I do know that they love me and their dad almost as much as we love them.
Posted by Ellen Fassbender